Thursday, April 12, 2012

1 Tragedy. 100 Blessings.

This is my 100th post!

I love to blog because it helps me pause, reflect, and absorb life as it goes.
The good and the bad.
Because of my posts, I am able to laugh at things sooner, process out my unresolved thoughts and feelings, and appreciate God's blessings with a thankful heart.

Today, Mark and I lost our baby.
After a trip to the ER, blood tests, ultra sounds, and physical exams... we got the news.
I was 8 weeks pregnant.

Today I read on the American Pregnancy Association's website that, "Studies reveal that anywhere from 10-25% of all clinically recognized pregnancies will end in miscarriage."

25%?! It's crazy to me that approximately one in every 4 women will have experienced a miscarriage.
It's also crazy to me that it's not an open topic for most women---> even crazier knowing that there's a 25% chance that each woman has experienced it.

Well, I am now one who has and... I'm talking about it! I can empathize with anyone else who has experienced the same kind of loss. 

It's numbing and heartbreaking. What was once "great expectations" is now gone and we are definitely grieving that loss.

Tonight, our small group met at our house. God put the 2 worship leaders from our church in our small group and I totally took advantage of that gift! Tonight, along with our friends, Mark and I sang praises to God for his goodness, and faithfulness... even as we enter the valleys and storms of life. We leaned on them and prayed with them. God has provided our precious friends especially for times like this. They are the Body of Christ. They held us up.

We sang the following songs:

Never Once
Everlasting God
Blessed Be Your Name

It was healing and encouraging.
I am so, so grateful for our friends.

So... that's the Tragedy. And it really is a hard one to swallow.

But there are hundreds of thousands of blessings in our lives! 
If you are reading this, there is a good chance you are one of them! :)

In honor of my 100th post, here are 100 Blessings.
I can't discount them and they are all things that God has given to us!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above," - James 1:17

Praise Jesus!

Here are things that make me happy, smile, and touch my heart.
From simple to extravagant. Petty to deep. Here is my list:

1) My husband - Mark Joey - my soul mate.
2) Ethan. Enough said.
3) The closeness of our families. Mark and I both love and cherish each other's parent's and families. 
4) Having a best girl friend who authentically loves me. Christina Rubalcaba of course :)
5) Our bible study and group of friends in Folsom. God has been faithful to provide married couples that we've connected with in San Francisco, Boston, and now Folsom/EDH. Life would be grey without them.
{Can you tell I cherish my relationships?! They're first that come to mind}
6) My parents. Blessings in ways that cannot be counted. There is nothing they wouldn't do...
7) Mark's job. He has one! And it's growing... Praise Jesus!
8) Our house. It is located in Mayberry... not really, but... yeah, kinda :)
9) My vegetable garden :)
10) Ethan saying, "Jesus is Alive!" and "Yeay Jesus!"
11) Staying home with Ethan.
12) Every singe day Mark asks, "How was your day?" and tells me "You're beautiful" and "I love you"
13) Date Nights
14) Family Vacations
15) Chasing Ethan and hearing him squeal with delight!
16) Being playful and goofy with Mark.
17) Cooking and Baking
18) Decorating
19) Writing in my blog
20) When Ethan runs full speed to greet me, arms stretched wide, saying, "Mommy's here!"
21) When Ethan runs full speed to greet Mark, arms stretched wide, saying, "Daddy's home!"
22) When my mom calls me "Child".
23) Shopping with my mom.
24) Talking with my dad.
25) Whenever my brother calls and leaves a funny message 
26) Mochas and chats with Mom
27) Sitting by the fire with Mom Young, talking, eating chocolates, and drinking diet cokes.
28) When Mark says, "I just want to make you happy."
29) Disney World/Land trips
30) Being warm and cozy under a blanket
31) Swimming and laying in the sun
32) Flowers
33) Making someone happy
34) Dancing
35) Laughing and lunching with Christina
36) My Childhood
37) My Aunties
38) Traveling with Mark
39) Missions Trips
40) My women's bible study and the girls in my small group there
41) Moms @ Lakeside... uninterrupted girl time!
42) Coffee - fancy and plain :)
43) Trips to the Cabin
44) Having Mark home 4 days a week!
45) Reading Scripture
46) My Keurig Coffee Maker
47) Lakeside Church
48) Mark's leadership and faith
49) Family walks
50) Family Pizza Nights
51) The love and happiness Ethan has for his "Gammas" and "Papas"
52) Surprising someone with something they are pleased with
53) Foot Massages
54) Dark chocolate and caramel
55) Red Wine
56) Making memories with loved ones
57) Harvesting fruits and veggies I grew myself
58) BBQ's in the summer
59) Candle light
60) Good conversations
61) McFlurrys
62) El Dorado Hills in the Spring/Emerald Hills
63) Mark's Smile
64) Ethan's bouncy run
65) My Boston girls
66) Getting mail from Hemiari
67) Trips to the Farmer's Market
68) Family dancing in the family room
69) Cuddles and kisses from Ethan
70) Going out for ice cream/frozen yogurt in the summer
71) Each and every wedding anniversary we share.
72) The way Mark looks at me... with love and devotion :)
73) The way my Daddy looks at me... with Fatherly love :)
74) Dad Young's laugh and contagious smile
75) When Ethan says, 'Gank Goo Mamas" (Thank you Mama)
76) Manicures and Pedicures
77) Falling asleep in the car.
78) Taking naps
79) Sleeping in (Saturdays are my days for that!)
80) Dunkin' Donuts
81) Shoes
82) Watching Ethan, Emma, and Ollie chase each other, laughing.
83) My Mom's generous heart
84) Mark's Mom's wisdom 
86) Cool breeze on a summer day... especially when I'm wearing a dress/skirt - feels beautiful.
87) Ryan's protection
88) Mark's covering
89) Daddy's compassion
90) Christie's HUGE heart
91) Casting Crown's Concerts
92) Holding hands with my boys
{and the rest of these are Mark's}
93) My wife
94) My son
95) Spending time with Allie
96) Family
97) Fast Cars
98) Camping
99) Traveling/Exploring new places with Allie
100) Research

Psalms 34:1  I will praise the LORD at all times. I will constantly speak his praises.

Psalms 105:1-4  Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim His greatness. Let the whole world know what He has done.  Sing to him; yes, sing His praises. Tell everyone about His wonderful deeds.  Exult in His holy name; rejoice, you who worship the LORD. Search for the LORD and for His strength; continually seek Him.


  1. Great post, you have pointed out some superb details, I will tell my friends that this is a very informative blog thanks.
    IT Company India

  2. Oh Allie, I am so sorry to hear this news. After two uneventful pregnancies, I had three miscarriages! As you have so beautifully written, you have much to be thankful for. And you will get past this sadness. Much love, Mary Westin

    1. Thank you for sharing, Mary. I didn't know. As hard as it is... It's comforting to connect with others who understand. I am grateful for you. Thank you.

  3. So sorry to hear about your loss, Allie. You are so brave to be sharing the news on your blog. And it is amazing how you and Mark are still praising God in the midst of this.



    1. God is bigger than this and His strength has pulled me through. That's why I'm "brave" :)

  4. I am so sorry you had to go through this Allie. Jeff and I after 2 years of infertility were finally able to get pregnant only to have a miscarriage at 8 weeks also. I can't even begin to decribe how heart broken we were but 3 months later after trying again, we were very blessed with the pregnancy of our healthy beautiful twins. I was so much more grateful for my pregnancy and motherhood after that experience. God always has a bigger better plan and I know you will be blessed ten times over. I will say lots of prayers for you and Mark. Please let me know if you ever need to talk. ~Jamie Keenan

    1. That's encouraging, Jamie. Thank you for sharing. It is deveststing and difficult when you can't see the big picture of your life. But, I know I don't have to because I know God is with me and our family regardless of the peaks and valleys.

  5. I'm so sorry, Allie. I've been there and I know it's so so tough. Praising God that He's filled your heart with praises in spite of your loss. Praying for you guys..

    1. Thank you, Jessica. Your strength is inspiring to me. One day we will get to hold our babies :)